Sunday, January 20, 2013

Lucky 7...

If DW and I were sitting here talking with someone who doesn't know us well, and they were to ask the question, "how long you two have been married?", he inevitably waits for me to answer first. Seven. I'll say and without fail, DW will lean back behind me a little (like he's telling a secret behind my back) and exaggeratedly mouth to the person, "Seven LONG years..." 

I always know what he's doing, first of all, because the man luuuuurves that joke and it's as predictable that he will do it as it is that the sun will come up tomorrow morning.  But I also know he's doing it because of the masked surprise that shows on the person's face for a milli-second before I say to them, "Don't worry, I know what he's saying behind me..." 

They'll usually smile (in relief probably) and I'll look over at DW who grins at me, eyes twinkling, and roll my eyes at him.  As silly as it is, though, its one of the things I love about him because I know him.  There are certain things DW does that I can expect to happen and there are things that he does that make me surprised every day.  Its this combination - the comfort of knowing someone and the constant reminder there is more to learn - that makes me love this man more today than I did seven years ago. 
DW had planned for babysitting and a dinner date for us to celebrate our 7 year Anniversary so yesterday afternoon, we dropped LC off with his Mom for her first sleep over (thank you, Pam!).     As we were headed home, he reached out his hand and held it in the air, waiting on me to slip my hand into it.  Once I did, he looked at me in the eyes and smiled and said, "Lucky Seven, baby..." and gave me a little squeeze. 
When we got home, I rushed and got ready, putting on my cute little navy number with lacy sleeves and some camel-colored boots and we were off to dinner.  I knew I'd chosen the right thing when I saw DW's eyebrow raise up a little when I walked about the corner.  Score.  PS: I feel like every time I post a picture in front of this mirror I need to add a disclaimer that its an antique mirror and the glass is clouded, it's not actually filthy. ;-)
After we had gotten our food, DW said, "Ok, so if you had to pick one highlight from our marriage so far, what would it be?"  We agreed that this would be just related to he and I, adding LC to the family was a given, and we each described our favorite moment(s).  We also talked about all we'd experienced over our marriage...4 States and countless moves, purchased three houses, sold two of the three, lived with a roommate, job changes, lay offs, the loss of our respective grandfathers, the loss of Cooper, infertility, a health scare for DW, gaining a couple great friendships...and the loss of a friend or two along the way, who knows how many "foster" puppies have come and gone in our house, a few truly special vacations together, and in this last year, adoption and the addition of sweet LC.      
It was a sweet time of reminiscing together and then his next question was, "Alright, where do you see us seven years from now?"   I quickly added up the number and I don't think I got much past the thought, "Oh my gosh, I'll be 42..." but we talked about that, too.  We know that with all our best laid plans we could never predict the future but it sure is fun trying. 
If there is one thing that DW and I do well together, it's talk.  We genuinely still enjoy each other's company and I love to spend time with him.  There is no way I would pretend that our time together has been completely perfect...we've had our share of disagreements and our struggles just like any couple.  We have had those moments over the years where we have looked at one another after a fight and through gritted teeth, joked: "So seriously, you're it...for the rest. of. my. life?"  We also say this when either one of us does something especially nerdy or "old" acting and we always laugh at this little inside joke.  The truth is we wouldn't have it any other way.  We believe in our marriage and we believe that we have a Divine Romance, one that was orchestrated and arranged by our Heavenly Father.  We believe we are His best for one another. 
As we sat across the table in the low lights of the restaurant, murmurs of conversations around us, I felt another deepening in my love for DW.  For me, it happens often that ordinary moment where I think, I'm lucky.  I still love the way his eyes light up when he smiles  and, after all this time, I still want and love his approval.  He is a good counselor when I need one and he challenges me sometimes even when I don't want him to.  I love his perspective on life and how he tends to be such a positive person about other people and their intentions whereas I'm a bit of a cynic as he would say.  I prefer realistic but whatever.  You say potayto, I say potahto.  
There are those moments when he is working out in the backyard or especially when I catch him reading to or playing with LC...and I still have the surprise of that little bit of a pitter patter in my chest for this man I married. I love his friendship but I'm so thankful that we still have that thrill of romance between us...I truly pray that never goes away.   
If I'm completely honest, I think its safe to say people fall in and out of love several times over a lifetime.  Routines happen.  Struggles happen.  Arguments happen.  Forgetting to be intentional about the other happens.  There have been times in our marriage where things just clicked and there have been times upon occasion where we have had trouble carrying a civil conversation.  DW is black and white in a lot of ways, I'm a feeler and don't particularly love change.  As you can imagine, that can make for some interesting clashing of perspectives.  But that, to me, is exactly what marriage is...a series of moments and different perspectives that string together over a lifetime.  We grasp on to the good ones and we try to flush the other less wonderful, less memorable moments down the toilet. 
The thing that we do really good together, I think, is we try never to leave a man behind.  We try to choose hobbies that we can do together (of course we have our separate ones, too), we choose friendships that, for the most part include one another, we make time to just play together...and most of all, we don't take the other person for granted.  Errrr, well not often anyway. Now, with the addition of LC, we also have made the commitment to really make sure we don't lose "us".    We are committed to one another - but that doesn't mean it's a license to quit trying.     
After dinner, we decided to go grab coffee before heading back to the house and, as we were cozied up on the couch together in the coffee shop, I said to him, "You know we have to take a picture, right...?"  And he just rolled his eyes and scooted closer to me.  There was no one sitting close enough to ask so I flipped the camera around and snapped a couple shots of the two of us.   
Anytime we take pictures, I'm always shooting for that perfect shot of both of us and DW is always gritting his teeth and saying, "Oh my gosh, seriously?!" especially in public.  Me, I have no shame.  I don't care who thinks we are dumb and he just wants it over with as soon as possible.   But humor me he does and I love that about him. 
When I was scrolling back through and saw this one, I laughed.  So fitting for him to be looking at me like, For real?!

After our pictures, we are sitting there and DW holds up his paper cup o' Joe and says to me, "Let's make a pact..."

Alriiiiiight, I reply slowly as I lift my cup, already skeptical because I know that twinkle in his eye.  What's our pact?

I say that in the next 7 years we don't spend even one full hour mad at each other...maybe not even one whole minute. 

Bah! I laugh.  Yea right. 

No, seriously...he continues, I didn't say we couldn't be mad at each other for a couple seconds.  But just not a whole minute. 

So what happens if...when...I get mad at you then?  What am I supposed to do?

He laughs and says without hesitation: You have 59 seconds to get over it.

What about 3 minutes? I ask.  Never one to take the first offer. 

59 seconds, he maintains and looks at me sternly before lowering his voice and replying, 59 seconds and that's it, I said.

It's conversations like this that I'm sure seem pointless and meaningless to others...but I personally love them. 
In a couple short hours, we get to go pick up this cutie.  LC brought my shoes to DW yesterday over and over so, at one point, he helped her put them on.  I'm not sure that was quite what she was bargaining for but it was pretty stinking adorable.
Seven years in and life feels more full than it ever has.  Based on that, I'm thankful I tricked DW into spending the first seven with me and I renegotiated my contract for seven more with a rider clause for forever. 
I wrote all this last night because I couldn't sleep after drinking that dang coffee I mentioned...but saved it until today so I could proofread it one last time.  DW was dead asleep when I climbed back into bed and snuggled close to him for warmth.  
Oh my gosh, he started awake.  You are freezing...where have you been?
No where... I avoided, deciding that telling him I'd been blogging at 2 a.m. didn't sound very smart. 
He replied in a sleepy voice, "I'm going to ask that question again and this time don't say "no where".  Where have you been?  I have never felt a human who felt more like ice in my life."
Blogging, I laughed, knowing it did sound as dumb as I thought it would.
Well, he replied as he snuggled closer, next time you decide to go blogging in Antartica don't you dare get back in bed and put your popicles fingers and toes on me, ya got it?
Mmmm hmmmm, I replied. Got it. but I'm pretty sure he was already asleep.  I laid there for a while longer, counting blessings instead of sheep and laughing that, even when I wake him up from a dead sleep, the man always makes me laugh. 
I've said it a million times over and then some...our life is perfect, even when it's not.   


Amy said...

I looooove this!!! Happiest of anniversaries to you and DW!!! And a lifetime of them to come

Buckany said...


Sarah said...

This was such a sweet post. I love the relationship you and DW have. Happy anniversary!

Also, I absolutely love Tami Taylor (and your outfit).

Jeanie said...

Happy anniversary, you two!

thepoleyfamily said...

This made my heart smile!

katieehill said...

sweet, sweet couple! and might I are one hot mama! What a lucky hubby you have! I love that dress!

~nOe~ said...

happy anniversary!

Allison said...

Love it! Happy Anniversary and hope you have many more wonderful ones to celebrate.

Jess said...

Happy Anniversary!! Love the dress and boots, so cute! My DH and I will be celebrating 7 years in March and I didn't realize until you pointed it out that oh gosh, I too will be 42!? at our next 7... Oh goodness life goes by quickly!

Sassy Amie said...

This is such a sweet post! Happy anniversary to you and your man :)
I can't wait until W and I are there in our (soon-to-be?) marriage!!

Linznoel said...

Such a sweet post! Love your Tami Taylor outfit!

Anna TTIL said...

Happy Anniversary!

krista said...

I love reading your blog, because of how beautifully you write. I was moved to tears as I have been several times before reading your blog. Happy 7 years! You have a beautiful relationship and family.