Wednesday, October 23, 2013

SOOT!

On Sunday night, we took LC and met her bestie, Z, at the Birmingham Zoo for their annual "Boo at the Zoo" celebration.  The kids were definitely a little young to understand the whole thing but the lights and all of the costumes people were wearing was super entertaining and it was just fun to do something different.  


We did stop to take a quick cameo with a skeleton that was in the corner of the petting zoo.  It's a miracle...we actually have a picture with all three of us in it.  


The Stone family...minus Miss McKenzie.  The Stones, although not in the picture, just added a sweet baby girl to their family this month.  I seriously still can't believe Amber was willing to get up and walk the entire Zoo.  Tough lady!


LC wasn't sure about standing so close to the creepy skeleton...


...and, of course, what post is complete without a picture of LC's little tongue sticking out?


Speaking of LC, she is growing up waaaaaay too fast.  Today I was running some errands and ended up forgetting something at the store so I went "Ugh!" and whipped the car around.  From the backseat I heard a tiny little voice say: SOOT! (Shoot!)  Guess it's time to more mindful of my exclamations.   

On this same errand adventure, I had to slow down to let a high school-ish boy cross at the crosswalk.  He was dressed nice and, admittedly, a handsome little thing in a total non-cougary way.  Statement of a fact. 

We paused and waited as he crossed and in my rearview mirror, I could see LC craning her neck to look at the person crossing the street.  Then, from the backseat she commented:

"Boy. Boy."  and then added "Coot Boy."  Heaven hold me.  I'm not ready for this although my mom tells me that I was about LC's age when I threw myself down in front of our teenage next door neighbor, batted my eyes and said, "Hep me up..."  I guess life has a way of humbling you.  ;-)

More recent LC-isms...

The other night for dinner, I threw some chicken on the grill and when DW walked in the door from work, I asked him if he would go check it.  Since he was holding LC in his arms, he took her with him.  When he opened the lid, he said something along the lines of, "See the chicken, baby?" and she replied:  Bock.  Bock.

He came back in laughing so hard because he said that right after she made the chicken noise (which she has done before) she took this long pause and under her breath said, "Bye Bye Chicken."

I still laugh every time I think of it.  No idea if she made the connection for real or what but still...

Recently, I've really been working on getting LC to "use her words" instead of whining.  When she starts with the tantrums, I make sure to ask her, "Are you whining?  Is whining a no-no?" and she will often respond, "Whining...no.no."  There are times that pointing it out and just getting her to articulate stops the whining but, if she chooses to continue, we tell her to go put her nose in the corner. For LC, this is a VERY effective method because she's big on attention.   We give her a minute to center herself and when she stops whining, it's not uncommon to hear her yell, "ORRY!" from the corner.  

Once she apologizes, we let her come out and ask her to come to one of us and "talk about it."  We want her to understand why she got time out, obviously.  Discipline without instruction just seems wrong to me.  I feel like just getting in trouble without understanding "why" just begs to teach a kid how to be deceptive.  I desperately want to teach her to have a heart change...not just hide her "bad" behavior.  Our conversations often go like this:    

"Come here...let's talk about it.  Do you know why you had to stand in the corner?"

"Whining..." she will usually reply...or if she doesn't, we help her with her answer.  

Is whining a no-no? I'll ask.

No no.  

Ok, well, lets not do that, ok?  Can you tell Mommy you're sorry?

Orry.  

Ok, I need you to look at Mommy's eyes when you say you're sorry.  Show me you mean it.  

Eyes.  Orry.  Mwean it.

Thank you, baby.  I forgive you, ok?

Ok.  

Can I have kisses?  

I always try to talk about what she has done and then I always want her to know that her actions - even bad ones - don't change how I feel about her.  I want her to be able to tell people she's sorry when she's wrong and I definitely want her to learn how to give and receive forgiveness.  And then we always end it by reconnecting.  I don't want her to feel distance between us and, while she might refuse my "make-up kisses" one day - that day isn't today.  It's so important to me that she know that discipline doesn't mean I withdraw my affection.

Granted, it doesn't always work like this but the more we do it, the more it does...at least at home.  Public tantrums are a different story.  Oy.  

The other day, she walked into the kitchen and started whining about something.  I raised my eyebrows and gave her "the look" and she instantly said, "WHIIIIIIIINING..."  I almost laughed out loud but much to my amusement and surprise, she walked herself to "her corner" saying, "WHHHHYYYY-NING...." over and over againg as she put her own nose in the corner.  I still didn't say anything because I was curious what she would do and it wasn't two more seconds before I heard, "Orry!" and she took herself out of the corner.  Into the kitchen she ran and said, "KEESH!"  

Kiss.  It's what we do, like I mentioned earlier, and I LOVE that actually recognizes that's a part of the process.  :-)  It was cute but, honestly, it melted me.  It was one of those all-too-rare moments in motherhood where I thought, "What I'm doing is working..."  There is a lot about motherhood where I just HOPE she's getting it but in this case, I was able to see that she was.  It's like getting a much-needed pat on your back at your job (although please take the word "job" loosely). 

Anyway, not too long after the self-discipline incident, DW and I were driving somewhere and we got into an animated conversation.  We weren't fighting but we were definitely talking about an issue - debating - and we both got really engaged about it.  Suddenly, from the backseat we realized LC was yelling, "WHINING! WHINING!!!  Mommy! Gaggy! WHINING!"

She recognized that we were definitely not using our normal tones and she let us hear about it. We have incorporated "WHINING" into our vocabulary thanks to LC.  Every time of us catches our self complaining about something, we cut off the negativity simply by saying "WHINING!" in an LC-like voice.  Usually it sorta clears the air and makes us laugh.

And, boy, does that girl ever give us reasons to laugh...  



2 comments:

amy (metz) walker said...

This.. all these anecdotes, are every reason why I wanted kids. I loved this today Amy, thanks for the laugh!

Bye Bye, Chicken.

:D

amy (metz) walker said...

Oooh - I am So going to try the nose in the corner thing with Stella. We've been talking about how we don't whine and throw fits to get our way (oooooh LORDY is she throwing fits to try to get her way lately), and I think this just might work for Stella. Thanks for the idea!