Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Almost

When LC first became our very own Custom Made Kid, I had soooooo many moments throughout every single day where I thought with surprise, "Holy Cow...I'm a mom."  I would look at her and feel this sense of awe that she was actually a part of my life.  I was doing the day in, day out role of a mom but it felt a lot like putting on a new pair of jeans that hadn't been broken in just yet.  The jeans fit but they weren't comfortable and I wasn't sure exactly how to wear them.  With a little time and a few trips through the ringer, things changed.  Things began to fit just right and now, well, it's my favorite pair.

During that early season, there were so many times where I also thought, "Somehow someone is going to realize I don't deserve this..." and it felt like just as rapidly as our world changed for the better, it would all disappear just as quickly.  But with time, LC and I both (and DW, of course) settled into our rhythm, I started feeling "safe" that this good thing really had happened to us and was here to stay, and being a "mom" felt like less of a "role" and became something "organic" inside of me.  Somewhere along the way, it stopped being a thing I was doing and became a part of who I am.

A Day In The Life of Almost Two

One moment I'm sitting on the couch folding laundry while she's playing with toys and LC runs over and says, emphatically, MOMMY!  HUG, peas!

My heart melts.

Fifteen minutes later, I walk by LC, lean down, and say, Can I have a kiss?

NO PEAS!  she whines, turning her head and body away from me so fast that wispy blond hair whips her in the face.

Well, ok then.

I made the mistake (?) of trying to teach LC to say "No, thank you" when she doesn't want something instead of having a meltdown.  Instead, it became "No peas!" and it is used so often I dream of a rewind to the day I thought that was a good idea.  I think it was my dad who, during the middle of a tantrum, laughed and said, "Well, at least she's polite in her disobedience..."

Oh yea, mark that one in the "win" column... (shaking head no)

One moment I say, "Ok, lets go to school..." and she responds like this:

NO PEAS!!!


Ummmm, I reply, I need you to be sweet, please...

Weet, she replies, a total transformation coming over her.



Beyond the moments of crazy almost two, LC has become such a funny little girl and I absolutely have so much joy in my heart because of her.  Last night I was sitting at the table with her and wanted her to try a bite of a food she really doesn't like but will tolerate.  I handed it to her and said "Take a bite, please..." and she replied, "No peas."

"Yes" I counter and she raises it to her mouth, does this squirrel nibble on it (she didn't even touch it) and then she (fake) dry-heaved and said, "Sca-wee."  (Scary).

I'll be the first to admit that I have far more "hanging on by the skin of my teeth" moments in motherhood than I expected.  Being LC's mom has made me crazy (at times), a hypocrite ("I will NEVER do that with my kid), a more outwardly emotional person (inward has never been a problem), and it has humbled me in ways I didn't know were possible.  It has also fulfilled my dreams and then some.

Thinking of a life without her...now that's Sca-wee.  

7 comments:

amy (metz) walker said...

Ya know what? Though it does not affect my own in any way, I am so very grateful for LC's part in your life. After reading and following along on your journey, she has been a sweet reminder of God's greatness and for that I am grateful!

amy (metz) walker said...

I love the stories of your little girl & what you learn & see in them... the cute pictures of her doesn't hurt either :)

amy (metz) walker said...

Oh girl, it definitely is sca-wee to think of life without our baby girls...even if they are both going to be 2 very, very soon! I can definitely relate to wishing I hadn't taught her something...especially when it's something that I unintentially taught her!

amy (metz) walker said...

Her little boots are so cute!

amy (metz) walker said...

Gah, your posts always melt me.

amy (metz) walker said...

Oh my word I just giggled all the way through this, and I'll admit it, I secretly wished I could meet this sweet little one, face to face (along with her momma too). Having had the privilege of praying alongside you during some of those most diffiult days has just etched ya'll deep in my heart. My heart is so blessed by your sweet family!

amy (metz) walker said...

She's too cute and this post was too sweet :-) Love that you're so happy!